Hello! Yes, my last post was ages ago. I realize I have been saying that for the past few blog posts. I just haven’t had blog-worthy content to post up that’s why I’ve left this site idle for awhile. But I finally have something worth talking about and it’s Teens camp! A bit ironic since I have passed my teen years quite awhile ago but teens camp or not, camps always do me good.
I went to camp honestly feeling very skeptical about it. I believe my heart was very hardened and my mind was very clouded with lots of doubt and very little faith. However, I decided to head to camp with that little bit of faith in me and told myself that I’d be open to what God wants to tell me.
During the first few sessions, I was feeling quite meh mainly because I felt like I have heard those types of sermons before and it seemed predictable. Nothing wrong with that of course but I think maybe because I was older and had already heard these kind of things as a teen, I half-shut my mind.
I think I benefitted most from the session by Alarice where she talked about having passion. She reminded us that worship isn’t about the music. She also said that worshipping God is not a feeling but a decision. I realized then how hard headed I have been all this while. Honest confession: I barely lift my hands/close my eyes during worship mainly because I felt like whenever I did it, my heart felt uncomfortable. If I wasn’t “feeling it”, I wouldn’t do it as I didn’t want to fake it. However, I realized how hard my heart was. How insensitive it became to the emotions that God has enabled me to experience. That session helped me to realize that yes, ultimately worship is a decision but that does not mean you can’t feel emotional during worship. I had neglected the emotional part for so long I forgot how it felt like to express myself outwardly. For the remaining worship sessions after, I completely allowed God to soften my heart and begged Him for me to be able to feel Him again and by God’s grace, I was able to do so. I lifted my hands as high as I could, I shut my eyes, I let every tear roll down my cheek and I felt… free.
Another thing that touched me a lot during this camp was seeing my members responding to what God has told them to do. Seeing the kids express themselves through their tears humbled me so much. There I was thinking that these kids would probably never experience God with all the mischief they get up to but God proved me wrong. So wrong. And how proud I was to be able to be alongside them in their journey of strengthening their faith for Him.
The feet washing session was also another highlight of camp for me. Again, I was skeptical at first but when one of my members approached me to wash my feet, the tears just came out. I was so happy to see what God has done in her life and through her prayer I was assured about my work in her life. It was such a sobering moment and a beautiful one too. Being able to serve the ones I love and just to have such a platform to express my innermost thoughts and prayers to them that I would otherwise never say.
Overall, I am really thankful that I went for camp (despite being like really old there, lol) and I can’t wait to see the fruits of what we all experienced in camp!